Who’s Side to Take?

In Moore’s “Amahl and the Night Visitors: A Guide to the Tenor of Love”, the question of, “who do you side with?” proves to be a very difficult one. After reading and discussing the story, I find myself unable to side with either Trudy or Moss. Both characters seem to be in the wrong and in the right at different times in the story. They both handle the situation pretty poorly as they are unable to listen or communicate with each other very clearly. I found it interesting (on a literary basis, of course) to watch their relationship suffocate until both parties decided that they needed space, for better or for worse.

First, we have Trudy. Now, since we are only given Trudy’s perspective, it’s hard to know if we reading her true character. But, based on what we are given, I can see that she is extremely paranoid. She accuses Moss of cheating because he is coming home late from play rehearsal and is unable to believe his denial (although, to her defense, his answers tend to be very cryptic). When talking to Bob, she states, “look Bob. I’m no idiot. I was born in New York City. I lived there until I was four. Come on. Tell me: Who’s Moss sleeping with?” (112). It is clear that Trudy has experience with people sleeping around, whether or not it happened to her or it that it happened a lot when she lived in NYC, so I suppose she may not be wrong to be suspicious. In any case, as stated above, Moss does give the most cryptic answers when Trudy asks him if he is cheating on her, leading us and Trudy to believe that he’s hiding something. She asks, “Moss are you having an affair with a sheep?”. To which he responds, “I’m a king, not a shepherd, remember? You’re acting like my ex-wife”. So then she asks, “Are you having a regular affair? With a person?”, to which Moss responds, “You’ve got to stop this” (100). Initially, Moss cracks jokes when Trudy questions his faithfulness. But, when she asks again, he just tells her to stop, pushing the topic aside. Whether or not Moss is having an affair or not (which I’m pretty sure Moore left it ambiguous on purpose so the reader is forced to decides if he’s telling the truth or not), he is not handling the situation very well. When initially asked, Moss never directly says “no” to Trudy’s questioning, he always just tells her to stop or jokes around about it. This gives off the impression that Moss is hiding something, which in turn just makes Trudy even more suspicious and paranoid. He doesn’t set her straight, he jumps around the question, making him seem more guilty, even if he is really telling the truth.

Moss can’t see that Trudy fears loneliness. She doesn’t want to let Moss, or even the cat, go because she is afraid that they both won’t come back to her. We see an example of how loneliness can affect someone in “How to Talk to Your Mother”, where Ginnie is forced to talk to her appliances because she has no one in her life to talk to. If Moss leaves, and the cat doesn’t come back, Trudy will have no one. At the moment, since Moss refused to talk to Trudy, she decided to converse with the cat. But, if the cat also runs away, all of Trudy’s social connections will have deserted her. She will be alone and unsafe. (Although she will have Bob, assumably, so I guess it wouldn’t be so bad). Because of this, I tend to sympathize with Trudy a little bit. Only because she is trying to ask if she and Moss are alright, and all Moss does is brush her concerns off and continue doing what he’s doing. But, like I said, Moss isn’t totally in the wrong.

Moss is a man gasping for some fresh air. He is being suffocated by his girlfriend, who can’t see to trust him, and also by his job, to which he has to work long hours in order to make it work. He feels like he’s going crazy, working on a play that he, at times, isn’t even totally on board with, and then he comes home to find his girlfriend talking to their cat, using funny names, as if it is more than a cat. He feels frustrated that, Trudy won’t let the cat have a breath of fresh air, which is similar to his situation. She keeps the cat trapped in doors, not letting it experience the world. She is unable to trust it, so she keeps it boxed in, unable to explore what the world has to offer. As Moss states, “you’re being my wife. Things are repeating themselves” (108). Assumably, Moss’ previous marriage ended because his ex-wife didn’t trust him. She suspected him having an affair of some sort and she became too paranoid for Moss to bear. I suppose Moss is just that kind of guy that people can’t seem to trust. He finds himself in the same situations where no one will believe a single word he says, even if it is the truth.

So, although I find myself leaning towards Trudy when it comes to my sympathy, I can see both sides of the argument. Honestly, I thought things were 50/50 until the last entry of 12/21 where Trudy admits that she and Moss aren’t safe and that she fears for what the future holds and if he or their cat will ever return to her. In order to comfort her, Moss whispers that things are okay, but Trudy admits that “things grow fuzzy around the edge like a less than brilliant lie” (116). In this relationship, Trudy doesn’t know what the believe. She feels like everything Moss says is ambiguous and confusing. He hates her and he loves her. He is unable to be clear and direct, leaving Trudy constantly immersed in a dense fog of confusion. Because of this, Trudy is unable to find the truth in what Moss says. She doesn’t even know the state of their relationship at this point because Moss refuses to disclose that kind of information. Instead, he comforts her, making her become more dependent on him for support, which would in turn, make it even harder on her if he were to leave her. There’s just something in Moss’ character that makes him seem untrustworthy and shady. He is unable to clearly articulate his true thoughts and feelings, which leaves those around him confused and constantly feeling misled.

To Be Loved

When reading Lorrie Moore’s “How to Talk to Your Mother”, I found myself constantly wanting to go back and reread sections. This is because of the style that Moore choses, which is one of the main standout qualities of the story. The fact that the entire story is told in reverse chronological order messes with my mind a bit because instead of foreshadowing things, it gives us the complete puzzle and then starts to point out the pieces. So, after finishing it, I decided to read through it again in order to look more closely at specific scenes. (I almost wanted to read the story backwards, so I could satisfy my need to have a chronological story. But I refrained). The first sections that jumped out at me were the first two entries, 1982 and 1981. In these, we get a glimpse of Ginnie’s life after her mother’s death. Even though it’s been three to four years since the funeral, we can see how the passing of her mother still affects her daily.

Without her, for years now, murmur at the defrosting refrigerator, “What?” “Huh?” “Shush now,” as it creaks, aches, groans, until the final ice block drops from the coiling of the freezer like something vanquished (85).

With her mother gone, we can see that Ginnie feels incredibly lonely. So lonely that she is now talking to her refrigerator. Similar to the final ice block, Ginnie feels defeated in life. She has been pregnant multiple times, thereby having the opportunity to bring a companion into her life, but she has aborted all of them. And now, every since the death of her mother, she is surrounded by constant reminders of her loneliness. This scene can also relate to Ginnie’s entry in 1974, where her mother calls her complaining that there’s no food in the fridge. Ginnie just brushes her mother’s complaints aside, and “when you get home the refrigerator is mostly empty. ‘Mom, where did you put all the milk and cheese and stuff?’ Your mother stares at your from where she is sitting in front of the TV set. She has tears leaking out of her eyes. ‘There’s no food here, Ginnie’” (88). Right after, Ginnie hears noises coming from the dishwasher and so she checks and finds rats nibbling on the cheese and spilled milk. Although we aren’t sure what happens next, we can assume that Ginnie probably rolled her eyes, possibly yelled at her mother for being so irresponsible, and then cleaned up the mess. Now, we know that the mother is suffering from some sort of dementia and the daughter seems to be a little tired of her having one of her episodes (I assume things like this happened more often as time went on), which is common among caretakers of those suffering from dementia. But now, four years later, as the fridge is creaking and groaning, full of food for just one person to eat, Ginnie is reminded of her mother, and how she is now extremely lonely in her absence. In 1974, her mother felt alone with no food in the fridge, now, even with food in the fridge, Ginnie feels the same kind of loneliness.

Dream, and in your dreams babies with personalities of dachshunds, fat as Macy balloons, float by the treetops (85).

Now, this scene tripped me up a bit. It wasn’t until we talked about it in class that I began to unravel it to try and find the true meaning behind it. But, before I dive in, this scene connects with her 1981 entry.

On public transportation, mothers with soft, soapy, corduroyed seraphs glance at you, their faces dominoes of compassion. Their seraphs are small and quiet or else restlessly counting bus-seat colors...The mothers see you eyeing their children. They smile sympathetically. They believe you envy them. They believe you are childless. They believe they know why. Look quickly away, out the smudge of the window (85).

Reading these two sections in the beginning left me a little puzzled. It wasn’t until I read the whole story that I began to understand Ginnie’s thoughts during this period in her life. Throughout her life, she has had numerous pregnancies and sequential abortions. These mothers think they know Ginnie’s story just by the way she stares at their children. She isn’t staring at them longingly, for they remind her of traumatic experiences in her life. They remind of the scars she will carry for her entire life. These mothers don’t know that Ginnie has dreams/ nightmares with giant babies floating in the sky. These giant baby balloons symbolize the idea that she was once a baby to her mother, and now that she’s grown up, assumably having become or is nearing her mother’s age when Ginnie was born, and so pregnancy and birth are ideas that constantly loom over Ginnie. The children on the bus remind her of her loneliness, they don’t give her hope or inspiration, they tell her how alone she is in life.

These mothers on the other hand are showing a kind of self-satisfied sympathy towards Ginnie. They think she longs for what they have, a child, so they feel the need to sympathize for her. They think they know her but they don’t. The mothers are just feeling bad for someone who doesn’t have what they have, without even taking the time to find out the whole story.

Even though we only get one entry of this, I assume that these sorts of things happen a lot in Ginnie’s life. Ever since her mother died, Ginnie is constantly reminded of the loneliness in her life. Whether it’s her brother and his family, her appliances, or her dreams/ nightmares, she can’t escape the fact that she is alone in this world. With all the traumatic things that have happened to her, she is left vanquished, with no one to lift her up. Her heart craves for something to love or at least to connect with, but it is dead inside. A possible theory for the recurring medical heart advancements in the entries could be that, as time goes on, Ginnie may believe that she needs a new heart to be able to love and be loved in this world. (But, like I said, this is just a theory). In any case, it is sad that so many people judge her without getting to know her. They believe that she wants what they have, tangible things, but all she wants is some company in life. (And I hope, at some point, she gets some too).

Keen Senses

In Moore’s “The Kid’s Guide to Divorce”, it’s interesting to see how the kid is portrayed. Although it was pointed out in class that we aren’t given if the kid is a boy or girl, we can see that he/she obviously is familiar with his/her parents’ situation and is able to act accordingly. This is evident at the end when the mother asks “How did the last three days go?”, and the child decides to “leave out the part about the lady and part about the beer. Tell her they went all right, that he’s got a new silver dart-board and that you went you to dinner and this guy named Hudson told a pretty funny story about peeing in the hamper. Ask for a 7-Up” (52). The child knows that telling his/her mother about things like the new girl in her ex’s life will just upset her, so she leaves out the ugly parts and sticks to the short and sweet parts. He/She knows that telling her mother anything that may hint that her ex has moved on and is now bringing their child into a new, dangerous environment will bother her. If the mother knew that the child’s father has been partying with his child and drinking alcohol around him/her (possibly letting him/her taste some too), while she just sits at home, crying during a movie that she’s seen a thousand times, she probably wouldn’t want her child hanging out with his/her father anymore, both because it may be dangerous, but also because it puts the mother in an awkward situation. Assumably, the dad doesn’t want to be overbearing towards his child, so he relaxes and lets him/her hang out with the big kids. This leaves the mother to have to buckle down in order for the child to have a positive upbringing. The mother doesn’t let her child have soda late at night or watch too much scary tv (although the child did seem a bit frightened and was glad when the mother offered to change the channel). Instead of being a cool parent, the mother has the be the responsible one.

This also worries the mother in that, as the child grows older, he/she may drift towards the father because he was “more fun” growing up. Although I have never been in this kind of situation, I can see how being the responsible parent has its setbacks as one is forced to give up being the fun parents in order to teach important morals. It’s almost like there is this competition between the divorced parents, each trying to appear as the better parent. Even though we don’t get the father’s perspective, we can see what kind of character he is through the thoughts of his child. When envisioning the father, I pictured a kind of rockstar who is always on the road. A party animal who will bring his child to his concerts and to hang out with his other band members once in awhile. (Pictured below is an 80s look and a more modern view. In my mind, the father was a mixture of the two).

I mentioned this in class, but this sort of scenario reminds me of the film Boyhood, where the father is seen as the fun and cool parent who comes on the weekends in a nice car and gives the kids presents, making the mother’s hard work seem boring and unappreciated in the kids’ minds. I can see how the father in Moore’s story could be seen as a more appealing parent in the kid’s perspective. At mom’s place, you have to sit and watch tv with her (which really means watching mom sob over a movie she’s seen a thousand times), not even allowed a drink of soda before bed. Whereas, at dad’s place, assumably, you get to stay up late, drinking soda (maybe even trying some of dad’s beer), hang out with dad’s hilarious friends, play darts, and maybe test your luck with some curse words. Although the mom is only trying to be responsible, she isn’t being “fun”, which would hurt her in this apparent competition.

Now, thankfully for the mother, the child seems to understand this. He/She knows that mom is seemingly having a harder time with the divorce than dad. He/She knows that he/she must tread lightly so as not to say the wrong thing that will upset mom, whether it be a new curse word that they learned at dad’s place or the fact that dad has a new woman in the picture. It’s quite impressive that the child has picked up on this kind of thing, for I picture him/her pretty young. (Possibly a young teenager, around eleven or so), so it goes to show just how much work the child does as well in order to make both parents happy in this unfortunate situation.

Dumbfounded

In Lorrie Moore’s “How to Be an Other Woman”, it’s interesting how the narrator is constantly reassessing her situation, unable to fathom how or why she got into this complicated situation. She describes the moment that she and her “lover” met as “dumb...but it is how you meet” (4). Now, after their initial encounter, the woman, Charlene, seems dumbfounded that this is actually how she and this guy met. While on the bus, she tries to explain binding warpage, makes a nerdy, corny joke, and in the end, probably walks away, having given the guy her number and agreed to meet up again later. She is surprised that this is really how she and this guy met. It just seems so cliche. As Mr. Mitchell pointed out, and I’ll bet as the narrator noticed this too, this scene seems straight out of the script of the most cliche, romantic movie ever made. Girl and guy meet on bus; girl makes awkward conversation; guy keep talking to girl; girl spews out a nerdy joke; guy laughs; girl and guy fall in love; girl and guy live happily ever after. Now, if I hadn’t read this twice, I would have thought that these two had just walked onto the set of Serendipity.

But, thankfully, Charlene is just as confused as we are. She recognizes that she’s that girl who typically stands alone, drawing peace signs on fogged over windows, while waiting for the bus. She gages every step she takes, where her eyes wander, what moves he makes. And in the end, she is left baffled as to how this outcome came about. She didn’t talk about a typical passion of a cliche, romantic girl; she explained binding warpage to him...AND HE WAS INTERESTED IN IT! She didn’t follow any of the typical steps, and yet, the glass shoe fit, and she was swept off her feet by her Prince Charming. The two go to museums, concerts, and movies together, almost like a modern-ish Rhett and Scarlett.

But, after nine-and-a-half dates, the ball is dropped. Patricia. The original woman is brought into the picture as Charlene gets bumped to the other woman spot. Although when asked how this makes her feel, Charlene replies that she is fine with it, as readers, we know her true thoughts and can see that this thought of being the “other woman”, being just another woman in this man’s life, really shakes her up. “You walk differently. In store windows you don’t recognize yourself; you are another woman, some crazy interior display lady in glasses stumbling frantic and preoccupied through the mannequins... ‘Hello, I’m Charlene. I’m a mistress’...It is like having a book out from the library. It is like constantly having a book out from the library” (5). In another fashion, it is like Charlene is the library book. The man she is currently with has had a different book checked out for a long time, but has gotten tired of reading it, so he has moved on to explore Charlene’s pages. Of course this leads one to ask what will happen with the man is bored by Charlene’s content, or can’t stand the binding warpage on her.

On the outside, Charlene appears calm and reserved throughout the conversation, but deep down, she is mulling over what this means for her. In fact, she doesn’t even really question the morality of the man, who, to Charlene’s knowledge at this point, is with two women at the same time. Instead, she focuses on how this whole experience is immediately changing her outside appearance and character. She states that she can’t even recognize herself in windows. To her, she is a totally different person. This reminds me of Baldwin’s “Come Out the Wilderness”, as the narrator explains how, in her previous relationship, the man, Arthur, changed her. He flipped her personality upside down until she was almost unrecognizable to her old self. Now, Charlene’s man does this too, only I suppose he’s a little less forceful than Arthur.

“I’m not an organized person, like Patricia, for instance. She’s just incredibly organized. She makes lists for everything. It’s pretty impressive.”

Say flatly, dully: “What?”

“That she makes lists.”

“That she makes lists? You like that?”

“Well, yes. You know, what she’s going to do, what she has to buy, names of clients she has to see, et cetera.”

“Lists?” You murmur hopelessly, listlessly, your expensive beige raincoat still on. THere is a long, tired silence. Lists? You stand up, brush off your coat, ask him what he would like to drink, then stump off to the kitchen without waiting for the answer (6).

Now, I’m not an expert in the mistress category, but I’m pretty sure it’s the number one rule to not mention one’s current wife as much as possible around the woman you are cheating with. Kind of seems like an important rule to remember as Charlene seems furious by this comment. I mean, assumably, one would think that this guy doesn’t like his current wife, which is while he is sleeping around with another woman. But, apparently, he likes her lists, which consequently makes Charlene believe that she needs to start making lists in order for this relationship to work. He changes her, making her believe that she now needs to be making lists in order to please him. That he would enjoy her better if she were to be a list-maker, like his wife. Again, Charlene asks herself, how did she get into this situation? And why didn’t she leave?

But the ball doesn’t stop there, oh no, it just keeps on rolling as an even bigger spoiler is revealed towards the end of the story, when the man mentions that “Patricia is not his wife. He is separated from his wife; her name is Carrie...Patricia is the woman he lives with” (21). So Charlene isn’t the other woman, she is the other other woman. Patricia is the other woman to Carrie, and Charlene is the other woman to Patricia. She has now been bumped down to third place in line for this sleazy guy’s heart. So, she appropriately responds by rhetorically asking, “You mean, I’m just another one of the fucking gang?” (21), and then proceeds to throw the guy out and slam the door. Again, how did this happen to her? She isn’t the cliche type. She isn’t one to fall head over heels over a guy she just met. She isn’t one to start a relationship with a married man. She isn’t one to start a relationship with a divorced man who is already in a different relationship. She isn’t one to be reduced to just another woman. And yet, now she is. By some odd way in the universe, she is now just the other woman in this man’s life.

This is a sad story as it highlights that these sort of situations can happen to any ordinary person, not just the hopeless romantics. Charlene was assumably a normal woman until this man walzed into her world and she fell head over heels for him, unraveling his complication past and present situations. It’s an unfortunate situation that could have obviously happened to anyone.

Left on Repeat

Throughout Baldwin’s collection of short stories, we have been reading of the different sides of racism in America. Whether it be someone who can’t find a home, a man afraid for the safety of his family, and most recently in “Going to Meet the Man”, the act of lynching, which was seen as a celebratory event as white people to gathered and ate while watching a man die because of the color of his skin. Now, an interesting aspect of this story is the fact that it is told in the perspective of the white sheriff, Jesse. He has never experienced an ounce of racism against him in his life, So, instead, he is one of the people dishing it out. But, giving us Jesse’s perspective helps us understand parts of his violent, racist personality.

The story begins with Jesse being unable to sexually perform, and so his wife decides to call it a night. Now, during this time, Jesse lays in bed thinking about why he seems so troubled. He thinks to the protestors he has to deal with the next day. He also thinks back to when he was eight years old, where his mother and father took him to his first celebratory lynching. “Now he saw the fire--of twigs and boxes, piled high; flames made pale orange and yellow and thin as a veil under the steadier light of the sun...then he saw that this chain bound two black hands together at the wrist, dirty yellow palm facing dirty yellow palm...he saw the kinky, sweaty, bloody head...His hands were straight above his head. All his weight pulled downward from his hands; and he was a big man, a bigger man than his father, and black as an African jungle Cat, and naked” (246). At first, Jesse is confused as to why everyone seems to be laughing and enjoying the event, while a naked man is tied to a pole, immersed in flames. But, as his father sits him on his shoulders, symbolizing the father-son aspect of this “picnic”, Jesse begins to understand. He forgets about Otis, his best friend, and begins to focus on how enjoyable the experience is. This sort of moment urges us to see how part of Jesse’s personality can be attributed to his upbringing. His father appears proud to bring his son to his first lynching, giving Jesse the idea that these sort of events are positive and meant to be enjoyed.

Now, with that being said, I don’t think all of Jesse’s personality can be blamed on how he was nurtured, because parts of his character are just his disgusting nature. After remembering this pivotal moment when was eight, Jesse becomes sexually charged and proceeds to finish what he was trying to start with his wife. “Something bubbled up in him, his nature again returned to him. He thought of the boy in the cell; he thought of the man in the fire; he thought of the knife and grabbed himself and stroked himself and a terrible sound, something between a high laugh and a howl, came out of him and dragged his sleeping wife up on one elbow...’Come on, sugar, I’m going to do you like a nigger, just lieka nigger, come on, sugar, and love me just like you’d love a nigger’” (249). The image of the boy he brutally injured and of the man dying in the flames with his genitals mutilated turns Jesse on, which is honestly one of the sickest things I’ve ever read. This shows the despicable, disturbing side of Jesse’s personality, proving that he is severely messed up.

Now, while looking at this scene, as a white girl, I am tempted to think that these sorts of things are a time of the past, and that we’ve moved on as a society to become more accepting. But, unfortunately, this isn’t true. As Mr. Butler says, “History doesn’t repeat itself, it rhymes”. Although we have become more accepting of races other than Caucasian (unfortunately, there is still evidence of racist to this day), we have chosen a different group of individuals to discriminate against; the LGBT community. As a country, we are still struggling with granting LGBT their God given rights. Even though gay marriage was legalized across the country, there are still cases where a gay couple is refused the right to marry because it apparently goes against the marriage license official’s personal beliefs (ie. they are ignorant and close minded...and also lawbreakers now). See, we like to think that we are advancing as a nation, but while problems are solved, other arise. Although gays and lesbians are slowing gaining more rights, transgender individuals are finding it increasingly harder to be accepted in such an, all together, close minded country.

So, although I would like to argue that, however horrific Jesse’s situation is, that those are times of the past, similar things are happening to this day. People are murdered just for their sexuality and/or sexual orientation, and even when this problem is eventually solved, new ones will bubble to the surface. We throw around religion like it’s a safe card to hide our true inner problems. I’ll bet Jesse and others told people that not lynching a black man would be going against the bible. And yet, to this day, we see similar phrases being used against the LGBT community.

Now, I could go on and on, but then this blog post may never end. All in all, although Jesse’s situation is awful and mortifying, his thoughts aren’t times of the past. People in America still discriminate against black people, except now it’s not acceptable to share those thoughts out loud. Being given Jesse’s inner thoughts allows us to see just how sick and twisted a person of that time could have been. But, even though we are given a glimpse into Jesse’s upbringings, his character should not be completely blamed on how he was nurtured. I believe, by nature, he has and would always have been a disgusting person, and that his parents just furthered his development down that path. So, we can see that as time goes on, history tends to repeat itself as new problems arise and we are led to discuss the rights and dictate the destiny of people we know nothing about.

Mixed Feelings

When asked at the start of class if we enjoyed the character Ruth in Baldwin’s “Come Out the Wilderness”, I can honestly say that I have mixed feelings. I mean, this is the first time in this collection that the female character has been brought to the forefront. Characters such as Roy’s mother, Eric’s mother, and Sonny’s mother are all figures that tend to wade out in the background of their respective stories. We aren’t even given most of their official names, just their relation to the main characters. So, assumably, it would be a breath of fresh air when Ruth came along; finally, a story with a female protagonist! But, unfortunately, I don’t think I’m sold. See, almost the entirety of the story involves Ruth’s internal thoughts as she struggles with the relationships in her life. Although I can see the pain Ruth has constantly had to endure throughout her life, I found her a somewhat frivolous and uninspiring character, as she thinks more about the men in her life than her own job or her future.

Now, with that being said, I do sympathize with Ruth. She escaped the claws of her religious, conservative family by fleeing to New York, a place seemingly symbolizing freedom and new adventure; a place where she could start a new life, out of the hands of those who wish to control her. But, unfortunately, New York ends up not being the safe haven she had hoped for. She came with heavy baggage on her shoulders. After getting caught being in a room along with a boy, she is proclaimed as “dirty” by her family, a label that she carries without wherever she goes. When she runs away with Arthur to apparently the land of promises, she begins to realize the problems she has made. First, Arthur is a controlling partner, never quite satisfied with Ruth’s personality. He opts to change her by sending her to school and dressing her the way he wishes. On the other hand, Ruth does credit him with allowing her to somewhat accept herself. “Through him, she got over feeling that she was black and unattractive and as soon as this happened she was able to leave him” (209). Once he had finished remaking her into the woman he wished to be with, she found the courage to go off on her own path. With Arthur, she felt like she was unable to move and breath the way she wished, for he was molding her into his ideal sculpture. Good thing she was able to leave him, right?

No. In fact, she got about a year or so of a break until she found Paul. Now, after leaving Arthur, Ruth found herself some new found independence. She found that she was able to support herself financially with her newly learned skills, and so I believe that she enjoyed Paul’s presence because she was not only able to support herself, but him as well. But, while Paul became seemingly financially dependent on Ruth, she became emotionally dependent on him. Even though now, she doesn’t even love him, she feels like he has a hold on her. “She had no place to go, she only wanted him. She had tried hard to want other men, and she was still young, only twenty-six, and there was no real lack of opportunity. But all she knew about other men was that they were not Paul” (199). At this point, she can’t image life without Paul. Even though she does not love him and thinks constantly of when he will end it between them, she is lost without him. Paul has created this void in her life that can’t be filled by any other man. She feels incomplete without Paul in her life.

It’s unfortunate that Ruth flees to New York, in search of a new life, a life of freedom and new opportunities, but  finds herself stuck, unable to break the molds others have set her in. She describes the scenery of Manhattan as: “For her as for most of Manhattan, trees and water ceased to be realities; the nervous, trusting landscape of the city began to be the landscape of her mind. As soon her mind, like life on the island, seemed to be incapable of flexibility, of moving outward, could only shriek upward into the meaningless abstractions or drop downward into cruelty and confusion” (203). The idea of Manhattan was this place where she could have a fresh start, but in reality, it has caged her in. She allows others decide her fate for her, leaving her no room and opportunity to expand the fields she wished to. She has found herself stuck in two dimensions, unable to break into the third. As she stays with Paul, she will increasingly find herself being reduced to the first dimension; a point. A dot that will stay stagnant, under the control of those she depends on.

But, like I said earlier, although I can see and sympathize with Ruth’s situation, I didn’t see her as a very compelling character. Perhaps it was the constant mentioning of her relationships that got to me, for she came off as sort of a drama queen. Now, I can’t even fathom being in such a binding situation where you are unable to move an inch onto your own path, but I still can’t seem to find Ruth a likable character. Her constant mention of the fact that her boyfriend might break up with her seems so middle/ high school - esque. We even get snippets of her conversations with Paul, where he doesn’t seem like he is going to break Ruth’s heart, and yet she builds the reader up to think so. She makes up situations in her head, not allowing life to come at her and take her where it pleases. She came to New York, in search of a free spirit, but she hasn’t let her feet leave the ground yet. Her mind doesn’t take the time to be concerned about herself, for she only thinks about those around her. She too worried about how her past has affected her in instead of focusing on what lies ahead.

Cryptic Endings

A very symbolic moment that caught my attention was the last scene in Baldwin’s “This Morning, This Evening, So Soon”. In it, the narrator picks up his son from a family friend’s place and proceeds to take him back to their room in order to get read for their journey to America. The two ride an elevator up with Paul, the narrator’s son, in his father’s arms.

I put him on my shoulder and walk out into the hall. Mme. Dumont looks up at him with her radiant, aging face.

“Ah,” she says, “you are going on a journey! How does it feel?”

“He doesn’t know yet,” I tell her. I walk to the elevator door and open in, dropping Paul down to the crook of my arm.

“She laughs again. “He will know later. What a journey! Fusqu’au nouveau monde!”

I open the cage and we step inside. “Yes,” I say, “all the way to the new world.” I press the button and the cage, holding my son and me, goes up.

Now, initially, this scene could be read as pretty straight forward. The narrator and his son are about to travel all the way to the new world and they are taking an elevator to their room so they can pack and head off. But, after Mr. Mitchell mentioned the possibly symbolism regarding the referral of the elevator as a “cage”, I began to think of alternative meanings to this ending. So, the first aspect to focus on is, as Mr. Mitchell pointed out, the “cage” that the narrator and his son ride to their room. The use of the word “cage” implies confinement, which is what the narrator has been getting at as he describes his past experiences in America and why they haunt him to this day. During his childhood, the narrator felt trapped in this role of always needing to serves to the white man’s needs. He had to be overly polite, subservient, while also giving them the benefit of the doubt. As he states when talking about Louisa’s experience with white people, “all the white people she had ever met needed, in one way or another, to be reassured, consoled, to have their consciences pricked but not blasted; could not, could not afford to hear a truth which would shatter, irrevocably, their image of themselves” (151). In their experience, in every aspect of their lives, they have had to cater to the white man’s needs. (And woman’s, for that matter). Even if they were being treated cruelly, they had to show them that their hearts meant well, even though they didn’t. They were forcibly put into this role that they never even auditioned for. Their lives were spent caged in this bubble, a confined space of which they didn’t have the power to break out of, having to obey the spoken and unspoken rules and regulations of white people. And now, moving to America with his family, the narrator worries that he’s just bringing his son and wife into the bubble with him.

Throughout this ending scene, the narrator seems very sarcastic, nervous, and a little pessimistic, which is very reasonable. His life may never be the same once he steps foot on American soil. And if he and his family’s life changes for the worse, he could be held responsible. He is the one bringing his family along in order to further his career, so he would be responsible if the environment ends up tearing them apart. He is the one bring his son into this cage, one that they may not be able to make their way out of.

A last observation that I noticed is that, when the narrator walks into his son’s room, Paul is asleep. In the beginning, we see that the narrator is worried about preserving his son’s innocence, and that if/ once he brings him to America, he will assumably be immersed in a hateful, racist environment, seemingly tainting his innocence. But, after talking to Vital, the narrator decides that they must travel to America, and so he wakes up his son, picks him up, and takes him into the elevator, which is one of the first steps in their journey. The narrator picks up his son and takes him into the elevator, but he says that they are going “all the way to the new world”. In this, the narrator could be inferring that they will soon enter a world where he can’t always hold his son’s hand. Paul is going to have to experience the harshness of the world sometime or another, and the time is now.

Now, all of this could be completely false, and Baldwin could be thinking of a different meaning behind his ending, but it’s interesting to see how this short ending can be interpreted in numerous ways. All in all, we know that the narrator has discovered that racism is everywhere and that Paris isn’t immune to it, so he sees that America may not be just a bad idea. There will be troubles adjusting, but the hope is that his family will stay strong as they travel overseas to the new world.