Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Did He Earn It?

I know I have already written a blog post on the idea of coming of age, but through recent events I would like to pose a new answer to the question: When do you really come of age? I know that, in class and throughout the blogs, the general consensus has been that a coming of age moment is actually a process.  But it is really just a process? I may have stated this differently in my previous blog post, but right now, I believe, although everyone’s coming of age is a process, it’s a process characterized by a string of events.  So it may be a process, but not a smooth one.  With that being said, I am going to state another question: Which event is the most impactful in one’s coming of age process? 

Now, I know Valentines Day has just passed, and during this very special holiday, comes very special movies that are released on the days leading up to February 14th.  This year, the most controversial and debated movie that was released was the awaited Fifty Shades of Grey.   Now, although I have not read the book nor seen the movie, I have read reviews and such, and have pieced the general concept and partial components of the plot, without having to experience the graphic, pornographic content, of which I’ve heard is a vast majority of this “story”.  Putting all those graphic scenes aside, one in particular that I have decided to focus on involves Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey’s conversation that leads to the first sex scene of the movie.  More importantly, the line where she tells Mr. Grey that she is a virgin, and how, after hearing this, Mr. Grey sweeps her off her feet and takes her to the bedroom. 

Personally, I would consider this reaction by Mr. Grey to be very judgmental. Anastasia has just revealed that she has yet to have an intimate connection with someone before, keep in mind that she barely knows him at this time, and his reaction is to “fix this” by quickly doing the deed.  Honestly, I find this action to be disrespectful.  What if Anastasia was saving herself to someone special? Someone who she has known for a while. Someone who understands her.  But I guess those options have disappeared.

Putting Mr. Grey’s actions aside, I would actually like to focus on the concept of one’s virginity.   Losing one’s virginity is seen as a pivotal moment on one’s life.  But should it be considered as a coming of age event?  Maybe even the most important? Does sexual intercourse further the process of coming of age?  If so, what if someone is uncomfortable to with losing his or her virginity? Have you not come of age until you’ve lost your virginity?  If not, is losing one’s virginity really that important?


I have contemplated the questions posed above, and am interested in what any of you guys think. 

3 comments:

  1. I think that a loss-of-virginity would probably be a coming-of-age event; such an event would be memorable and might change the way the person in question looked at the world--the requirements for a coming-of-age event. I don't see what the distinction would be between "a pivotal moment on one's life" and "a coming of age event". However, I think that sexual intercourse is not at all a requirement or a unique action as far as coming-of-age; it only has relevance because of the potential impacts it could have. If sexual intercourse would develop your identity, this would seem to make it a coming of age event, but many other events can influence you even more.

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  2. I applaud you for your choice of topic. Abuse and other criminal offense aside, I don't think that Mr.Grey had any intention of "fixing Anastasia." Based on the book and what it is, it's probably that he was enamored by the fact that someone as "beautiful" as her still had her virginity, that he wanted her that moment...? I don't know that just seem like what the book would be for. In my vaguely defined culture, a girl's virginity is prized beyond anything else. In that's the case, lost v-card doesn't equal coming of age. Another thing is that the term virginity is whatever you define it to be, despite what google defines it to be. So I guess in this case, coming of age is up to you to decide once you decide what losing your virginity means?

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  3. As for Fifty, something bothers me about Christian Grey and the appeal he somehow has. He’s not very responsible in his dominance and leaves the main girl out in the cold to deal with her feelings, which is a very not-cool (/abusive/manipulative) move. Quyen makes a good point about the book and “what it is”, so maybe the author decided to do a really broad sweep over the characters and focus on the conflict instead?
    To your main point: the first time at everything is a new experience with an impact (maybe negligible for some things) on how you see yourself in the world. While virginity is important to many people, I think it's kind of unfair to infer that losing it is a stepping stone to adulthood or even a minor coa moment. There are multiple tracks (eg., physical, intellectual, emotional) to the process of maturity and they don’t each hold the same significance for everyone.

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