In Lorrie Moore’s “How to Be an Other Woman”, it’s interesting how the narrator is constantly reassessing her situation, unable to fathom how or why she got into this complicated situation. She describes the moment that she and her “lover” met as “dumb...but it is how you meet” (4). Now, after their initial encounter, the woman, Charlene, seems dumbfounded that this is actually how she and this guy met. While on the bus, she tries to explain binding warpage, makes a nerdy, corny joke, and in the end, probably walks away, having given the guy her number and agreed to meet up again later. She is surprised that this is really how she and this guy met. It just seems so cliche. As Mr. Mitchell pointed out, and I’ll bet as the narrator noticed this too, this scene seems straight out of the script of the most cliche, romantic movie ever made. Girl and guy meet on bus; girl makes awkward conversation; guy keep talking to girl; girl spews out a nerdy joke; guy laughs; girl and guy fall in love; girl and guy live happily ever after. Now, if I hadn’t read this twice, I would have thought that these two had just walked onto the set of Serendipity.
But, thankfully, Charlene is just as confused as we are. She recognizes that she’s that girl who typically stands alone, drawing peace signs on fogged over windows, while waiting for the bus. She gages every step she takes, where her eyes wander, what moves he makes. And in the end, she is left baffled as to how this outcome came about. She didn’t talk about a typical passion of a cliche, romantic girl; she explained binding warpage to him...AND HE WAS INTERESTED IN IT! She didn’t follow any of the typical steps, and yet, the glass shoe fit, and she was swept off her feet by her Prince Charming. The two go to museums, concerts, and movies together, almost like a modern-ish Rhett and Scarlett.
But, after nine-and-a-half dates, the ball is dropped. Patricia. The original woman is brought into the picture as Charlene gets bumped to the other woman spot. Although when asked how this makes her feel, Charlene replies that she is fine with it, as readers, we know her true thoughts and can see that this thought of being the “other woman”, being just another woman in this man’s life, really shakes her up. “You walk differently. In store windows you don’t recognize yourself; you are another woman, some crazy interior display lady in glasses stumbling frantic and preoccupied through the mannequins... ‘Hello, I’m Charlene. I’m a mistress’...It is like having a book out from the library. It is like constantly having a book out from the library” (5). In another fashion, it is like Charlene is the library book. The man she is currently with has had a different book checked out for a long time, but has gotten tired of reading it, so he has moved on to explore Charlene’s pages. Of course this leads one to ask what will happen with the man is bored by Charlene’s content, or can’t stand the binding warpage on her.
On the outside, Charlene appears calm and reserved throughout the conversation, but deep down, she is mulling over what this means for her. In fact, she doesn’t even really question the morality of the man, who, to Charlene’s knowledge at this point, is with two women at the same time. Instead, she focuses on how this whole experience is immediately changing her outside appearance and character. She states that she can’t even recognize herself in windows. To her, she is a totally different person. This reminds me of Baldwin’s “Come Out the Wilderness”, as the narrator explains how, in her previous relationship, the man, Arthur, changed her. He flipped her personality upside down until she was almost unrecognizable to her old self. Now, Charlene’s man does this too, only I suppose he’s a little less forceful than Arthur.
“I’m not an organized person, like Patricia, for instance. She’s just incredibly organized. She makes lists for everything. It’s pretty impressive.”
Say flatly, dully: “What?”
“That she makes lists.”
“That she makes lists? You like that?”
“Well, yes. You know, what she’s going to do, what she has to buy, names of clients she has to see, et cetera.”
“Lists?” You murmur hopelessly, listlessly, your expensive beige raincoat still on. THere is a long, tired silence. Lists? You stand up, brush off your coat, ask him what he would like to drink, then stump off to the kitchen without waiting for the answer (6).
Now, I’m not an expert in the mistress category, but I’m pretty sure it’s the number one rule to not mention one’s current wife as much as possible around the woman you are cheating with. Kind of seems like an important rule to remember as Charlene seems furious by this comment. I mean, assumably, one would think that this guy doesn’t like his current wife, which is while he is sleeping around with another woman. But, apparently, he likes her lists, which consequently makes Charlene believe that she needs to start making lists in order for this relationship to work. He changes her, making her believe that she now needs to be making lists in order to please him. That he would enjoy her better if she were to be a list-maker, like his wife. Again, Charlene asks herself, how did she get into this situation? And why didn’t she leave?
But the ball doesn’t stop there, oh no, it just keeps on rolling as an even bigger spoiler is revealed towards the end of the story, when the man mentions that “Patricia is not his wife. He is separated from his wife; her name is Carrie...Patricia is the woman he lives with” (21). So Charlene isn’t the other woman, she is the other other woman. Patricia is the other woman to Carrie, and Charlene is the other woman to Patricia. She has now been bumped down to third place in line for this sleazy guy’s heart. So, she appropriately responds by rhetorically asking, “You mean, I’m just another one of the fucking gang?” (21), and then proceeds to throw the guy out and slam the door. Again, how did this happen to her? She isn’t the cliche type. She isn’t one to fall head over heels over a guy she just met. She isn’t one to start a relationship with a married man. She isn’t one to start a relationship with a divorced man who is already in a different relationship. She isn’t one to be reduced to just another woman. And yet, now she is. By some odd way in the universe, she is now just the other woman in this man’s life.
This is a sad story as it highlights that these sort of situations can happen to any ordinary person, not just the hopeless romantics. Charlene was assumably a normal woman until this man walzed into her world and she fell head over heels for him, unraveling his complication past and present situations. It’s an unfortunate situation that could have obviously happened to anyone.
Ah! I like your connection between library books and warped binding. You could go further and even make a pun about "checking someone out" haha. I also thought you made an interesting interpretation about the lists in the story. I was kind of confused as to what they meant exactly... some of them seem like step-by-step instructions, some of them are lists of things NOT to do, etc. I guess it makes sense that she would start making lists consciously or subconsciously in order to please the married man.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I think Charlene's constant reassessment of her situation came partially in hindsight. Because we get this feeling that while the affair was actually taking place, things were just happening and falling into place and then without setting out to, she went from a bus stop to a married man's bed. What does everyone else think?
Charlene's sudden interest in list-making may be a kind of unconscious attempt to "make the relationship work"--I hadn't thought of it that way before. But there is this sense that the "wife" has something she doesn't have, and if only she can reach that level, he might leave her and choose Charlene. (She finds herself in the "other woman" role, but can't help but fantasize an escape route, a way to transcend it and become "the woman.")
ReplyDeleteI also see it as related to Charlene's general ambivalence about where her life is going, and how it's been a disappointment so far (fingering her Phi Beta Kappa key while working a dead-end job at Karma-Cola). There's this more general sense in which the "wife" seems to her competent, "grown up," a more fully-fledged or legitimate person than Charlene is--so she fixes on this one detail as the "secret" to her success.