In “This Morning, This Evening, So Soon”, it’s interesting to see how the narrator’s life has changed since he’s left America and moved to Paris, and to speculate how his life will be when he returns. As he and his family prepare to relocate to America, where he can further his film career, the narrator has some concerns. He experiences flashbacks of when he was in the states and was constantly having to be on his toes, afraid to say the wrong word or use the wrong tone. Scared to be verbally, physically, and emotionally harassed, and being unable to do anything about it. “I had not had to deal with these faces in so long and I had forgotten how to do it. I had once known how to pitch my voice precisely between curtness and servility, and known what razor’s edge of a pickaninny’s smile would turn away wrath. But I had forgotten all the tricks on which my life had once depended on” (163). Just thinking about going through customs makes the narrator on edge. Throughout his life in the states, he went through immense psychologically (along with physical) torture, constantly having to play the role of the subservient, yet not too weak, black person living in a white man’s world. And now, he will be bring his family to America, and they will assumably have to endure the same thing.
But, there is more behind all of this. Once he moved to Paris, the narrator states that he felt free, not being constantly watched by those around him. He states that when he fell in love, he not only fell in love with his soon-to-be wife, but also Paris itself. “During all the years of my life, until that moment, I had carried the menacing, the hostile, killing world with me everywhere...that world on which I knew one could never turn one’s back, the white man’s world. And for the first time in my life I was free of it...For the first time in my life I had not been afraid of the patriotism of the mindless, in uniform or out, who would beat me up and treat the woman who was with me as though she were the lowest of untouchables” (158). Paris has provided the narrator with this safe haven, one where he’s left alone and isn’t judged by the color of his skin or the woman he is with. His wife, Harriet, is a white woman from Sweden. She has never been to America, so she has no idea what the kind of environment is like there. The narrator worries that when he brings her with him to America, she will be judged and ridiculed for her choosing of her husband. A white woman with a black man is seemingly unheard of, and would cause an outcry among the American people. This could possibly cause tension in their marriage, as they will have to fight through the all the pain other may cause them in order to see why they found and stayed with each other in the first place.
Another area of concern is Harriet’s and her husband’s son, Paul. Now, Paul is mixed, and this if fine in Paris, but it may not be taken so lightly when in America. The child of a white woman and black man could cause him to be seriously bullied in school. At his age, Paul still is very innocent, and the idea of him coming to America, immersing him in a dangerous, racist environment that his father remembers so vividly, worries the narrator. He won’t be able to protect his son from everything, and he will probably have to learn the hard way that things are different overseas.
Now, all of these are legitimate concerns, since the narrator has experienced the harsh, racist environment in America first hand. Knowing his background and concerns, it was interesting to speculate how his life will be once he gets to America. (Props to the group that led the discussion on Friday for coming up with this notebook prompt). So, typical answers to the prompt included that Paul would be bullied, Harriet may be able to fit in for a little bit until people find out that she’s married to a black man, and the narrator’s success may rely on how well he’s received, even though he is black. Now, these are all possible, and would confirm the narrator’s nightmares. But, while writing my answer for this prompt, I decided to take it in a creative route, one that would probably be unlikely, but I was having fun with it so here it is:
The whole family is on edge, specifically the father, on the trip to America. They are all nervous, wondering how they will be received. When they get to customs, even with the narrator’s grief, the whole family gets through fine with just a few judgemental stares from the officials. But, once they begin to settle in, things start to go south. The husband is very successful in his acting and is received relatively well among the community. But, his family endures a lot of backlash (subtle, but still present). Harriet is ridiculed in the community for marrying black man and having a child with him. Paul, being the son of two different races, is seriously bullied in school, prompting his mother to take him out and begin homeschooling. The husband is blind from all his family problems because he has been swept up in the fame. This causes marital tensions as Harriet begs her husband to look past all the lights and camera and see that they are suffering. Harriet then considers to take her son and leave and find a place where they can be safe...Well, this story could go on, but I wouldn’t want to give too much away to possible screenwriters. (Also, I didn’t have time to think about what would happen next).
So, this little plot line is just a “what if”, since Baldwin leaves us with the family getting ready to begin their journey to the states. But, it is definitely reasonable that the narrator is having nightmares over his experiences in America and worries about what will happen to him and his family once he returns. It will certainly be a drastically different environment than Paris, which has proved to be very open to the narrator and his family. My hope would be that societal pressure won’t break up the family, for it seems that the bond they made in Paris was very special and hopefully can’t be broken by American harshness and racism.
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