Polar Opposites

When reading Lahiri’s “This Blessed House”, it’s interesting to wonder how two people, such as Sanjeev and Twinkle, who are seemingly polar opposites, somehow attract and decide to marry and live together. Although it is true that Sanjeev felt a lot of pressure from his family to get married, this marriage wasn’t a total set up. He and Twinkled had talked on the phone for four months before they got married. But, even then, Sanjeev just assumed that this was what love was all about, having never been completely in love himself. He just assumed that the connection he had with this Stanford girl was love, and so he went with it. So, knowing all of this, why does Sanjeev seem to hate Twinkle?

I mean, the obvious reason is that she just seems so different from him. Sanjeev is a very traditional, customary person, wanting to follow the rules at any and every point in time, even if they are unspoken. He believes that you marry who you love, so, since he and Twinkle are married, they love each other. But, with this, we can see that this kind of rule isn’t always applicable, especially in Sanjeev’s and Twinkle’s case. He sees Twinkle as childish, which she kind of is. “He looked at her face, which, it occurred to him, had not grown out of its girlhood...nicknamed after a nursery rhyme, she had yet to shed a childhood endearment” (142). From the way she crossing her fingers to how she gets excited over any given thing, Sanjeev can’t seem to figure Twinkle out, or even really relate to her.

He also believes that one shouldn’t display Christ memorabilia around their house if they aren’t Christian. In fact, this seems to be a very touchy subject in their household, proving to be the starting point for their arguments. Interestingly enough, I can’t seem to side with either person on this matter. On Sanjeev’s side, Twinkle seems utterly ridiculous. She is literally placing all these hidden Christian objects all around the house, even though they aren't aven Christian. Granted, these objects are pretty gaudy, including a snowglobe, a poster, and a huge ass, silver bust of Christ. But still, I understand Sanjeev’s pain. I mean, I wouldn’t want all these meaningless objects displayed around my house if I wasn’t Christian. And even though I am Christian, I still don’t think I would want a Christian snowglobe or huge, silver Christ bust hanging around my house. But, at the same time, I can also see where Twinkle is coming from. Sanjeev seems like such a controlling (but not in a dominating way) figure. He wants his house to be traditional, because that’s how he was raised. He doesn’t want these Christian items displayed around his house because they would send the wrong message. But, Twinkle isn’t trying to convert to a Christian, these objects just humor her. She finds it funny that they aren’t Christian, and yet they have a gigantic bust of Christ hanging around the house. It makes people question them, which humors Twinkle, but annoys Sanjeev. This whole situation just comes to show just how different Twinkle’s and Sanjeev’s personalities are. They don’t have the same sense of humor, in fact, I’m not even sure if Sanjeev has much of a sense of humor. He seems like a pretty serious man.

This conflict of personalities all boils down to how traditional Sanjeev seems to be, unable to comfortably stray from the norm. Whereas Twinkle is pretty spontaneous and outgoing, not afraid to travel into the unknown, even if it is uncomfortable. This is evident in the party scene, where Sanjeev assumes, since he is the man of the house, that he will be the head of the party. Even though he doesn’t really know his coworkers, he was used men being the host of the party, the one who is making conversation with all the guests, entertaining them. But, instead, Twinkle seems to take the lead and becomes the life of the party. All the guests are entertained by her, especially when she sends them on a treasure hunt to find any other hidden Christian gems. This all happens while Sanjeev is filling people’s drinks and hanging out in the kitchen. He separates himself from the party, initially worried about what people think about the random, religious objects sprawled about the house, but then later he just seems to be brooding, assumably bothered by the fact that Twinkle seems to have taken over this social affair. Sanjeev is uncomfortable with the fact that the woman of the house is taking the lead because it isn’t the traditional way. It’s not what he’s used to, so he becomes annoyed.

Knowing all of this, it’s interesting to wonder if Sanjeev and Twinkle will stay together. I mean, it’s obvious that they don’t know each other very well, but, granted, it is very early on in the relationship. Over time, perhaps, Sanjeev will learn to accept Twinkle for who she is and not be so strict. On the flip side, maybe Twinkle will also let up on the Christian things, because she knows that Sanjeev isn’t really a big fan of them. At this point in their relationship, it all boils down to the fact that they both want different things out of his relationship and are both not very good at communicating this. Twinkle wants to be free and Sanjeev wants to feel grounded. But, they can’t seem to communicate this so they end up becoming more and more distant from each other.

So, although some people in class believed that there was a positive ending to the story; that Sanjeev was beginning to understand Twinkle’s personality and therefore was able to accept her for who she is, I’m not entirely sure of this. Yes, I think Sanjeev realized that there was no use in trying to change Twinkle, but I don’t think he was entirely okay with her and all of her quirks. For now, it seems like he is just going to settle with her for who she is, until the day that she sends him overboard. It helps that he appreciates her looks, along with the guests at the party, but I’m not sure he will ever be entirely okay with her personality. Their relationship just seemed doomed from the start because they rushed things. I guess her quirky characteristics didn’t really come through over the phone, but now that Sanjeev is living with her, he can see that they aren’t really compatible. But, it is unclear what will truly happen to them, although in the typical Lahiri marriage trend, I’m not sure things will be okay in the end.