Battle of the Houses

The connection Milkman feels towards Pilate is obviously different from any other relationship he has with other characters in the book. Even upon initial sight, Milkman feels draw to Pilate and her mystic contrast from the Dead family. She represents Macon Dead II’s role; the head of the family. But, instead of being greedy and oppressive as Macon has proved to be, Pilate is more supportive and caring, less concerned with money and more focused on the security, openness, and protection of her family. Macon feels the need to be controlling in order to be strong, whereas Pilate is able to be strong without being oppressive and mean. Even though she is the mother of the family, to Milkman’s surprise, she is totally different from the mother of his family. Ruth tends to be a weak figure in the Dead family, whereas Pilate is a strong, fearless woman who is able to provide a open, loving, and sharing environment for her child and grandchild.

Before even meeting Pilate, Milkman seemed to have his own expectations of the woman and her household. Being raised in a family that emphasises the power of money and status, knowing that his aunt was poor, he expected her to appear and act as such. Since Milkman is of higher status than her, he also expected a little bit of jealousy or reverence for how well off he and his family is. But, this is so not the case. In fact, it’s almost the exact opposite. Pilate isn’t even the slightest impressed with who Milkman is. Milkman ends up feeling shameful because he believes that he has social leverage over Pilate, but Pilate doesn’t seem to acknowledge, or even believe, that. “Shame has flooded him. He had expected to feel it, but not that kind; to be embarrassed, yes, but not that way. She was the one who was ugly, dirty, poor, and drunk...instead she was making fun of his school, of his teachers, of him” (37-38). He had expected her to be like his father (since they are brother and sister), but since she’s less well off, he thought she’d be worse. But, on the contrary, she is better than his father. She is more accepting and enjoyable to be around.

This is part of Pilate’s philosophy that initially freaks Milkman out, but he comes to accept and enjoy it. Throughout his life, ever since he was “blessed” with his infamous nickname, Milkman has always been forced to live life in the past. He has never been able to completely move on because his family won’t let him. The Dead family has always been stuck in the past because that is where they’re are comfortable in. As seen in the Sunday drive scene, all the father can think about is Ruth’s actions in the past, and so he punishes her in the present and future. Milkman is literally and figuratively stuck between them, riding backwards facing his past and unable to escape and focus on the future. In Pilate’s household, the matter of acceptance is very important. It doesn’t matter where you’re from or your background, what’s important is your present actions and how they will affect your future. As Pilate introduces this philosophy as she disregards Milkman’s economic status and treats him as though he were on the same level as her. Initially, Milkman feels that this sort of treatment is disrespectful, for it causes him to feel shameful and embarrassed, an emotion he would have expected Pilate to feel more than him. But, over time, Milkman seems to appreciate this philosophy as he feels a sense of comfortability as he bonds with Pilate and her family. The family’s collaborative nature proves to be a stark difference to the Dead family’s independent nature. Their confidence is almost contagious as Milkman begins to feel more comfortable with defying his father’s words and visiting the house more often than not.

By experiencing this huge contrast in families, it seems to me that Milkman feels more comfortable being with Pilate’s family rather than his own. Even though they are poor, they aren’t concerned with money. They are secure with themselves and can live a happy life, free of financial worries. Whereas, Macon can’t seem to get money out of his mind. Pilate’s family provides a loving community, while Macon’s is more emphasizes on solidarity. It will be interesting to see if Milkman will drift more towards Pilate’s family as his becomes more and more polarized as they all grow older.