Crazy BIG Thing Called Love

As we are reading through Milkman’s and Hagar’s relationship, one can’t help but see direct parallels to Rochester’s and Antoinette’s relationship in Wide Sargasso Sea. The term “crazy love” is very much applicable in these situations as we see both females driven to insanity by the affection they have for their partners. Antoinette’s insanity came from constantly being rejected by Rochester. He claims to never have loved her from the start as he constantly shoves her love and affection away. Antoinette tries seemingly everything to win Rochester over, but he sees her as an animal and disgrace to him. In the end, he takes her forcefully back to England, where he locks her in his attic and tries to forget about her. He lets her crazy love fester until she passes the point of saving as she finally bursts and sets the house on fire, cleansing with flames.

Although there are some differences between Milkman’s and Hagar’s relationship and Antoinette’s and Rochester’s, at least the female roles tend to follow the same paths down the rabbit hole. In Milkman’s and Hagar’s case, the relationship was initially based off of love. MIlkman initially claims to being drawn to Hagar the first time he laid eyes on her, saying that “[he] had no need to see her face; he had already fallen in love with her behind” (43). After that day, Milkman and Hagar were in a, seemingly open, relationship for around twenty years. But, over time, as Hagar’s attraction seemed to have grown, Milkman’s disintegrated as he fell out of love with her. Surprisingly, the main reason he loses his attraction is not because they are related, but because it has become too easy. All his life, most things have come easy to Milkman. His job and his status have both just been given to him with ease. At first, his relationship with Hagar was a “challenge” because it seemed as though Hagar wasn’t as into him as he was to her. But over time, she realized how much she truly cared for him and wanted to be with him, while he realized that there are other fish in the sea that will provide a better chase for him in life. It’s a sad realization, but I can see if the relationship wasn’t doing anything for him, it’s best for him to try and move on so as not to live his life a lie. So, the thoughts behind the breakup isn’t the thing that bothers me in this situation, which I’m guessing is true for most people, it’s more how he chooses to execute his break up. He writes a “heartfelt” letter and shoves some cash for good luck, stating “thank you for all you have meant to me. For making me happy all these years” (99). In this letter, Milkman basically thanks Hagar for serving him for twenty-some years. Hagar has basically been laid off, like a worker, seemingly having outgrown her services. Milkman has decided to find someone else who can serve him better. It’s a sick thought that reflects badly on Milkman’s character.

This break up letter sends Hagar off the cliff of insanity as she makes it her end goal to kill Milkman (or so others believe). Although it may seem like Hagar’s end goal is the murder Milkman, it is quite the contrary. She just wants him back; she’d kill to have him back in her arms. Killing him is only a way she can see to hurt him, but she doesn’t want him dead because she wants him to love her once more. Her love for him has turned into an obsession as she sets out every month in search of Milkman and his love. People even noticed her as they state that, “Hagar ‘done took off after Milkman again’” (128). But Hagar’s actions are to no avail as, even when she has a knife raised, Milkman denies her and tells her to make it easier on both of them and kill herself. His words pierce harder than any knife ever could and Hagar assumably runs away again back to her house where she’ll probably plan her next murder plan. Milkman doesn’t seem to grasp the idea that he has driven this woman past insanity. It isn’t till Guitar asks him what the hell he did to this woman that has made her this way. Milkman doesn’t see the consequences of his actions because he’s never been punished for them. His life has been easy going, never told if what he’s doing is wrong or right, so he just assumes the latter, which ends up hurting those around him.

Another interesting similarity between Hagar’s and Antoinette’s situation is that they both have magical, motherly figures that they can turn to. Antoinette has Christophine, who has been her main motherly figure her entire life. When desperate times called for desperate measures, Antoinette turns to Christophine and her Obeah to save her marriage. She has Christophine make her a love potion that will bring back that apparent initial spark between her and Rochester. Little does she know, according to Rochester, there was no spark, and this magical act only brings the two even further apart and brings their marriage crashing down (as if it wasn’t already).

Similarly, Hagar has Pilate. Pilate seems to have some kind of her own obeah up her sleeve as she demonstrates by temporarily saving Ruth’s and Macon’s relationship. She conjures up this love potion that ends up bringing more action into the two’s marriage as Ruth finds herself later pregnant with Milkman. By doing this, Pilate helps Ruth to give birth to a son, an heir for the family, one whom Macon can truly bond with. But, up to this point, Hagar has yet to turn to Pilate and her magic to save her relationship with Milkman. This is seemingly because Hagar wants to distance herself from her family as much as possible. From the beginning, she shows her embarassment to be related to Pilate and Reba. Fortunately, Pilate doesn’t take offense to this as she only has the best for Hagar in mind.

In both of these novels, the men seem to be the catalysts of love’s insanity. Both men don’t take the time to see things from the other side and so they shoo away the women and try to move on. This action ends up driving both women past the point of insanity as both feel the need to behave frantically and irrationally in order to try and receive the love and attention they crave.